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[28 Apr 2005|08:34pm]

[ mood | ... ]

deepen thine wound,
bleed over thy threshold.
be warm in self-eradication.

settled deep within
thine confounds
thine words of horrid meaning.

fallen angels beaten within
inches of their after-lives.

map your way through
thine garden.

feel me waist-deep in muck.
malnutrition masquerade
tucked, neatly in ones' lap.

the self seems farther than real.
the self dragged into a world of filth.
the self, distant from all that is and ever will be.

seen, yet not quite noticed.
alas, I cannot.

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[22 Mar 2005|10:46pm]
Live forever...
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[22 Feb 2005|06:49am]

[ mood | tumble wash, dry warm ]

another world calls out to me.

i hear nothing.

my eyes burn

not in rage.

fall into oblivion.



stretched out figment.

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[21 Feb 2005|09:16pm]

Because people pretend,
because people lie. And then again we lay open, subject to humilation and dreams of yesterdays incomprehension.
And because,
because we scream every day and drown.
Because we're just empty and hollow,
so come fill me.
On the inside.
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[18 Feb 2005|05:10pm]

[ mood | blah ]

in a deepening hole,

i sigh

give in, and ride.

my mind is empty.

words flash through

nothing is uttered.

nothing is needed to be.

for lack of
better words...

my mind has separated from body.
i am an external being.

you look worried.

you seek something not found.

your arms are grasped around my neck,

and i'm loving it.

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wha? [08 Feb 2005|06:41pm]

[ mood | uber ]

this is a messege of your, yes..YOUR, emergency broadcasting system:




RAIA---I miss you!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

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[05 Feb 2005|08:33pm]

Just because the constellations tell you: 'that twinkle, is more than just gas'
It doesn't mean they are.
Joining up dots to create a bigger picture;
well thats just childs play.
Aren't we just creatures that live to hope??
I see that twinkle in your eye & my conclusion is i'm fucking dellusional.
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hypocritical design. [30 Jan 2005|04:11pm]

[ mood | fucked ]

i will
be satisfied.
although you wisper
too quietly.

substantial pain
indulge in serenity.

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My Feelings In Rough Note Form. [28 Jan 2005|10:41pm]

[ mood | tired ]

When push comes to shove i'm always the one on the road with gravel between my ribs.

When i scream you will know the true meaning of silence.

encores aren't needed. They're just an ego boost.

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Poem? [16 Jan 2005|03:06pm]

[ mood | cold ]

emaciated, bruises underlying the physical circumstance.
Weeping willows brushing against the porcelein promises.
To crack, and crack in between.

Hate, colourless odours of blood red lines,
with ties to cage your soul.
And broken pieces of inevitability.

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[11 Jan 2005|03:22pm]

When me and you meet there is forever a crack, a split down my side.
i try to fill it with whatever you give me
but i'm always in two halves.
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Conversation With the self. [11 Jan 2005|12:44pm]

[ mood | morose ]

[Conversation with myself]

Me: hi me.

Me: I woke up today, I convinced myself everything was this form of undying perfection, that the blood that stains the sheets meant nothing. And I was a fool for it.

Me :Sometimes I think I don't exist, this is just emptiness. Emptiness. emptiness.

Me: Can you not just co exist beside me? Hold onto these little feelings. I'm clinging to this air of nothing, so whatever I clutch, well it's suicidally inane and exposed.

Me: I lack feeling, but I am obsessed with it. Filled to the brim. Suicidal, ana, manical, depressed, torn, broken.

Me : Let us take the blade and bludgeon the other to death, deep mars of isolation. To stab and stab and stab until the hand falls from the fatigue of it.

Me :I'll kill myself, tomorrow. Will you please just stop avoiding it.

Me : Let us take the blade and bludgeon the other to death, deep mars of isolation. To stab and stab and stab until the hand falls from the fatigue of it.

Me : I don't have anything anymore.

Me: Let us take the blade and bludgeon the other to death, deep mars of isolation. To stab and stab and stab until the hand falls from the fatigue of it.

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[10 Jan 2005|02:58pm]
[ mood | Yoooo.... ]


Do you know what it’s like
To want to swim

It’s very fun
It’s very pleasant

But after a while
I get tired
And I want to get out of the water

But I can’t get out of the water
I have to keep swimming

You can’t stop
You can’t stop
You can’t stop

The only way I can get out
Is if I cut half of my body off

But which half?

You can’t stop
You can’t stop
You can’t stop

Which half?

You can’t stop
You can’t stop
You can’t stop


I won’t cut half of myself off
So I stay in the water
I have to be strong to stay a float

Stay strong
Keep swimming

Or drown...


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[10 Jan 2005|11:47am]

Box of Petals

She stands alone beneath
A decayed moonlight
Soaked in tears longing
To be transformed into
Anything but herself
Opening up the box of
Misery’s rose petals as
She collapses to the
Floor down in a heap
Imagine a world slipping
From her tied fingertips
Struggling to grasp
Anything but a drop
Coming from nowhere
Sentenced to a thorn
She sits in the corner
Commiserating and plotting
To in trance on a void
Ripping apart her clothes
In confused anguish
Wish upon a star in
A melodic scream
Clocks tick away and
Down to the end of
Something she can’t
Touch but wants too
Driving her dancing madness
Jumping about in her
Thought scrambled and deranged
Miss this tide and
Travel back in again
Just her little escapades
That prove she’s not
A reality to herself
Give space to her own
Turmored growth
Take down in anesthesia
Operate with care
Undiluted by paranoia
Jealous to deceive and
It is all over

N.L.R. -- 05.01.05
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[10 Jan 2005|09:30am]

[ mood | i am a ghost ]

i am
i was
i cant be
why do you ask?

well, forget me.
ignore me.
i am a ghost.
i am not a diamond.

what a fat lot,
what a indigenous

you fiend.
you devil.
you cunt.
you crack.
im a whore.

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Introduction. [10 Jan 2005|04:38pm]

Those of you who join, I'd appreciate posts or constructive thoughts as opposed to cruel words and insults.
And thanks for joining. <3
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